


human reasoning

by statuscrows



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M, Rape Fantasy, Violent Thoughts, not as dark as it sounds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-09-01 21:59:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16773718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/statuscrows/pseuds/statuscrows
Summary: Akira learns self-control.





	human reasoning

"This seems like a bad idea," Akira says, tugging experimentally at the heavy steel wrapped around his wrists and ankles. Nothing breaks, but it still doesn't feel strong enough to keep him down.

"What makes you say that?" Ryo asks. He seems as calm as ever as he fills a syringe with something Akira hopes is just a sedative. They're in the basement of Ryo's apartment complex in a room that’s supposedly for storage. "We're just making sure you can stay human when faced with external stimuli."

“External stimuli,” Akira repeats. “That’s a funny thing to call it.”

“I can stick with "fucking" if you’d prefer but that feels less scientific.”

Akira swallows. “Whatever you call it is fine. It’s just, are you sure you should be the one doing this?"

Ryo pulls out a stopwatch, not meeting his eyes. "As opposed to who? Would you rather I hire you someone?"

"I don't know," Akira mumbles. "I might kill them."

"That's fine. I can get rid of a body."

“Don’t say that.”

“I’m only joking.” Ryo turns to him. The syringe joins several others forming a neat line along the table beside them. "You'll have more incentive to control yourself if you don't want to kill your partner, I imagine."

"Do you think so?"

"I do." Ryo stands between his legs. "I have faith in you Akira. You won't kill me."

Ryo's eyes on him are firm and unwavering. The hand he places on Akira's chin feels cool against his heated skin. Stupid demon blood. They hadn't even started and he was already getting hard.

"Okay." He tries to match Ryo’s confidence. "Let's do this then."

Ryo starts the stopwatch and leans in to bring their lips together.

It's an innocent enough kiss and he notices immediately how soft Ryo's lips are against his. He thought it'd be weirder to be kissing him but it isn't. It's amazing. Akira manages to keep himself from kissing back for a grand total of three seconds before he's pushing past Ryo's lips and biting at his tongue.

Akira hears the distinct click of the stopwatch and then Ryo is straightening up. Akira follows his lips, eyes lidded, but at the first tug of the chain he's held back. "Why'd you stop?"

Ryo wipes his mouth on the back of his hand. "Because I felt fangs." He eyes the stopwatch. "That was nine seconds by the way."

Akira groans. "God, this is gonna suck isn't it?"

"I can think of worse ways to spend an evening. Let me see your teeth."

"Hold on." Akira takes a few calming breaths. His heart is already beating much too fast for how short a time they've been doing this. He bears his teeth.

"Better. Let's see if you can stay that way." He kisses Akira again.

This is fine. He's breathing calmly through his nose and focusing on that instead of Ryo's wet lips. Ryo stroking a hand down his neck and along his chest. Ryo resting a knee between Akira's thighs so that Akira was close to getting some kind of pressure on his cock.

"Twenty three seconds," Ryo says, pulling away.

"What? My teeth are fine!"

"You were growling in a distinctly non-human way. Also your eyes are red."

"Shit."

The third time around is better. It takes two minutes and Ryo climbing into his lap before his hands morph into claws.

"Not bad," Ryo says. He's still got a hand under Akira's shirt as though it belongs there and he hasn't noticed. "Need to take a break?"

He responds by slamming his mouth into Ryo's. Ryo grunts and the hand on his chest tries to push him away but he's too strong to be bothered. He bites Ryo's bottom lip and tastes blood.

Since he can't move his hands without breaking the bonds, he can't grab Ryo by the hips like he wants, can't hold him down and rut against him. But when Ryo breaks their kiss he turns his head and bites into the soft flesh of his shoulder.

" _A-ah._ " Ryo jerks away and makes a noise that he's never heard before. It's a noise of pain definitely but not all pain. Akira licks at the bleeding skin. He wants more of it, so much more.

About a second after he has that thought, he feels something sharp stab him in the back of the neck. His bite loosens and his vision swims.

"What was that?" Akira asks, growing dizzy.

"Just a tranquilizer. Try to stay on task next time."

"Mm." Akira's head hangs against Ryo's shoulder. "Shit. M'sorry."

"It's fine. We're still practicing." 

When he wakes up his hands are back to normal and he no longer feels the violent tingling in his skin that's signals an approaching transformation. Ryo is applying alcohol to the cuts on his shoulder with a cotton swab. His shirt is pulled to the side so he can examine Akira's bite in the mirror.

"Does it hurt?" Akira asks groggily. Ryo jumps, actually jumps.

"You're awake, " he says. "That was fast."

"How long was I out?"

"Less than three minutes. Good to know your metabolism is crazier than I thought."

"We should probably stop." He licks his bottom lip, forgetting that it's still covered in Ryo's blood. He licks it again. "I don't want to hurt you."

"I imagine the problem is that you do kind of want to hurt me."

Akira's still staring at the bite on Ryo's shoulder. It's shallow compared to what his teeth could've done. What they can do to Ryo's skin. He forces himself to look away. "I don't _want to_ want this."

"Wanting a problem not to exist doesn't make it go away." Ryo touches his face. His expression still doesn't look frightened. Akira's glad his friend isn't afraid but a part of him is disappointed. A part him wants to taste that fear. "Are you still aroused?"

"It's not about that."

"Do you want to stop?"

Akira wants to want to say yes. Hee really does. It would be the right thing to do. But he's hard and it feels like his blood is boiling and, most importantly, Ryo is offering himself up.

"No," Akira says. "I don't want to stop."

"That's good. I don't want to either." Ryo climbs onto his lap.

Everything feels much too hot. The heat of his skin is only getting worse now that he's tasting Ryo's blood again. It’s taking more willpower than he thought he had to keep calm. He knows he's shaking, there's lightning running up his spine, and Ryo's only feeding it with his tongue and the rough hand in his hair.

It takes several agonizing minutes before Ryo pulls back. "Very good. I'd say we're ready to move on."

"Hnnh?" His eyes are on Ryo's lips.

"We’re moving on." Ryo lowers himself onto his knees. "You can handle it."

Akira watches as his pants are undone and feels frozen in place. Even if he knew this was coming he doesn't feel ready for Ryo's hands reaching into the tight restraints of his pants. "Fuck," Akira says breathlessly. "Ryo I—"

Ryo gives him a rough stroke and Akira finds it hard to continue talking. His mind goes blank when Ryo does it again.

"Still with me?"

Akira stares at him, stares at his own cock in Ryo's hand. Ryo looks up, expression questioning. "Um. Think so."

"Good." Ryo starts to jerk him in earnest. There's way too much precome coming from him so Ryo’s hand is slick. Every now and then he feels a hot puff of breath on his cock and shivers. He wants to shove Ryo down on his cock and watch him choke. He wants to pound into his throat and sharpen his claws on his back.

With a slow blink Akira leans back in his chair. He shuts his eyes, trying to avoid the far too exciting sight of Ryo up close and personal with his cock. 

Ryo suddenly let's him go. "Your eyes are closed"

"Fuck, Ryo. Why are you stopping?"

"Open them." For the first time Ryo actually sounds annoyed with him. Akira does but without looking down. "Akira, look at me."

He shakes his head.

"What's wrong?" Ryo's voice is quiet and much too even. "Are you thinking of something else?"

"No. I'm thinking about you."

Ryo's hand returns, albeit more slowly than before. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"I don't think you'll want to hear it."

Akira moans and arches off the chair when Ryo runs his tongue along the slit of his cock. His lips were probably covered in Akira's precome. This really wasn't helping him stay level headed. "Tell me anyway," Ryo says.

Akira bites his lip.

"Was it something sexual?" Ryo asks. He wraps his lips around the head of Akira's cock and Akira feels the chain at his wrists creek.

"Yeah."

"Something violent?" He runs his lips gently down the length.

"Y-yeah."

"Akira," Ryo says firmly. Akira feels like he can't take in enough air. He looks down and all he can see is blue eyes and Ryo's lips hovering over his cock. "Akira," he repeats. "Are you thinking about killing me?"

The chains creek as Akira tugs at them. "Yes."

"In what way?"

Akira's body is much too hot. It must be obvious to Ryo too because he grabs the stopwatch and clicks it. He doesn't look away to check the time before tossing it aside.

His thoughts feel like a betrayal. To want to hurt Ryo, not just fuck him but _force_ him. To drink in his fear and his pain and know that they were all for him. To have him with his claws, and his teeth, and his cock and make him bleed, taste every raw inch of him, rip apart his flesh with his teeth, and keep fucking him while he devoured him--

Ryo places a hand over his mouth. "Thank you, I think I get the idea."

He bites Ryo's palm, not too hard but enough that he pulls away. "I told you it was bad."

"It's fine, but you were rambling," Ryo says calmly. Akira isn't so sure it's fine. "So. Why won't you do any of that?"

"What?"

"It'd be easy enough right? Even with all my preparation I'm no match for you."

"N-no. I wouldn't." Akira feels his heart speed up.

"Why not? Don't you want to?" He strokes Akira slowly while he talks. "You could rip me apart before I could blink."

"Don't say that!"

"It's what you want though, isn't it?" His eyes dip down to Akira's lips. "You could do worse than that little love bite you gave me. You could make me bleed. Tell me what's stopping you from doing it."

"I-I love you Ryo, I wouldn't do that to you!"

Ryo jolts backwards, dropping his cock. "What?"

"I.. ." It's ridiculous of Akira to be blushing now. He's already had Ryo's mouth on him for God's sake. "I wouldn't want to kill you. That's why. You were right earlier."

Slowly, Ryo gets to his feet. His expression feels uncomfortably blank. "Oh. I was hoping you'd say something along the lines of "because I'm not a monster". Love isn't really broadly applicable."

Akira's face burns. "I know that, dummy. I meant to say that too. You caught me off guard. Ryo? What are you...?"

Ryo pulls his shirt off and tosses it aside before undoing his pants. "We're seeing how far you can go, aren't we?"

Akira swallows and then nods, caught off guard by how fast things are suddenly moving. Ryo still wants to keep going? And now he was naked. And kind of hard, which was unexpected but also really exciting. 

"Then if... " Ryo picks up a tube of lube from somewhere, tone flat. "If you're...in love with me. Then you won't kill me when we're having sex, right?"

Akira manages to nod again but his focus shatters as Ryo climbs onto the chair, straddling his thighs. He looks completely unbothered to be sitting on him naked and god does he wish he was naked too so he could really feel Ryo's skin on his. It'd always looked so smooth to him and having a layer of clothing between them means that all he can feel is warmth and pressure.

"You can practice on me," Ryo says, as if Akira needed anymore convincing. Shock is the only thing keeping Akira still and even that's fading fast. "Would you like that?"

Akira watches as Ryo reaches behind himself. His heart is hammering loudly in his chest as he watches Ryo breech himself with a lubed up finger. Ryo is still talking but his voice is getting quieter as Akira absorbs the perspective of fucking him, fucking Ryo who was his best friend, and was offering his body up so a demon could have his way with him.

Ryo keeps stretching himself but when he's done he makes Akira look up at him once more. "You didn't answer. Do you want to do this?"

Akira struggles for a moment, trying to remember how speech works before giving up and nodding.

"That's good." Ryo takes his cock in a slippery grip, lubing him up. Akira shivers. "I'm going to let you. And you aren't going to kill me because...?"

Ryo's skin looks so pale and he realizes, not for the first time that he's so much bigger than him now. Ryo was right, he really wouldn't be a match for him. And the slippery hand around his cock wasn't nearly enough yet.

A pat on the cheek brings him out of that line of thought. "Stay with me. Why should I trust you with this?"

Akira smashes his lips against Ryo's. Ryo accepts the kiss for a moment, even kissing back, but then he seems to remember himself and pushes away. He has to actively hold Akira back by the shoulders.

Akira grunts. "Let me fuck you, Ryo."

"Akira—" Akira kisses him again, effectively ending the conversation.

Ryo sighs and wraps an arm around his neck. He isn't nearly close enough like this. Akira wants more of his skin and he needs to be inside of him already.

"I just want you to say it again," Ryo says breathlessly. They're both panting from the kiss. Ryo shifts his hips closer and pulls at Akira's hair to hold him at bay. "I know I'm being selfish but indulge me. Say it again."

Ryo let's go when Akira ignores the hold to kiss him anyway. Akira hardly notices a few strands being ripped out when he can taste blood on Ryo's lips.

"Akira," Ryo gasps, "say it again?"

Akira stops kissing him long enough to feel a pang of guilt for not remembering what he said to spark that shockingly gentle expression. All he can think about is getting his cock in Ryo and making him scream.

Ryo shakes his head. "Forget it." Akira wants to object so he can figure out what his friend wants but Ryo is positioning himself over his cock and that makes it really hard to care.

"Forget it," Ryo says again. And then he slides down.

"F-fuck, Ryo!" Akira cries. He rocks his hips up to bury himself deeper and Ryo gasps.

He doesn't want to hurt Ryo, because he doesn't want to lose him. He can feel that desire to turn humming through his flesh, compelling him to kill and violate. He hopes he isn't hurting Ryo but then he also really hopes he is.

It must not be as bad as Akira thinks because after a few calming breaths Ryo lifts his hips and starts riding him. One of the cuffs around his wrists snaps and he grabs Ryo by the hips with a hand that is definitely still human, and matches his pace greedily. Ryo's bottom lip already looks rough but he bites down on it anyway, feeling a combination of savage joy at the feeling of blood running down both their chins and concern that he's hurt his friend. It's only the soft moans leaving Ryo's throat that keep him from being able to stop. He wants this, and Ryo wants this too.

When he wraps a tentative hand around Ryo's cock he has to stop kissing him so he can watch Ryo chase his own pleasure, shoving himself down on Akira's lap and then up into his fist. A warm feeling of fondness fills his chest as he watches Ryo's eyes fall closed. He was so beautiful, fuck Akira loves him. Loves seeing him feel good and being responsible for the way his expression goes soft and slack when he comes.

The tender feeling in his chest is real, but it doesn't exactly cancel out the fact that he wants to kill Ryo too. It's weird that two such intense and contradictory feelings live inside him now but he can't seem to stop either of them. So for now he doesn't think about it. He presses Ryo more tightly to his lap as he feels the familiar heat of his orgasm approaching. He shoves his tongue down Ryo's throat as his vision whites out.

"Fuck," he hears Ryo whisper distantly. It takes a moment of him catching his breath, head pressed into his neck, before he remembers what happens when he comes.

"Oh my god," Akira says, sitting up. Ryo shifts uncomfortably only for Akira's come to leak down between then. They both stare at the growing mess in quiet discomfort.

"This is...excessive," Ryo finally says.

"I am _so_ sorry. I forgot to mention that."

"Hm." Ryo shifts his hips again and Akira feels his stupid cock give an interested twitch. "Is this amount normal?"

"No, uh, not really. It was a lot more last time."

"I see. Condoms would probably be a good idea in the future."

Akira bites his lip. The bottom of Ryo's thighs were practically painted white with his come.

"Or not?" Ryo asks.

"No! You're right, we should probably use condoms. That'd be smart."

Ryo shrugs. "I know both of us are clean. And I have a perfectly functional shower." He reaches around to undo the other cuff and starts to stand but Akira grabs him around the waist.

Ryo is stiff at first the way he usually is before relaxing into the hug. It wasn't Akira's intention to keep himself inside Ryo but that's how it works out.

Ryo pats his back. "What are you crying about?"

Akira shakes his head, cheeks wet. "I'm not," he says, sniffling.

"I promise I'm alright. A little sore but nothing too abnormal for rough sex."

He squeezes tighter and Ryo hugs him in return. He's glad he has Ryo and that Ryo has so much faith in him.

"Fuck, I love you Ryo," he says, burying himself against the other's neck. In his arms Ryo goes tense. Akira tries to pull back and look at him but Ryo holds him tighter.

"Ryo?"

"... thank you," Ryo says.

Akira feels his face heat up. 

"No, I mean." Ryo squeezes harder. He swallows audibly.

"Are you sure you're okay?" he asks. He pulls the two of them apart.

Ryo's face is a bright red that he's never seen before. Akira sniffs but the tears don't stop.

"What?" Ryo asks.

Akira looks away quickly. "Sorry."

They sit in silence.

"This is ridiculous," Ryo mumbles. "We're literally still having sex."

"Your nervousness is making me nervous."

"I'm not nervous, I'm naked in your lap. What's so nerve wracking about you saying..." Ryo lowers his voice. "That."

He leans his head on Ryo's bare shoulder. "Yeah. I guess it's not a big deal."

"Exactly."

While Ryo is trying to catch his breath, Akira feels himself grow hard again. It doesn't really feel like the best time for that so he sits still and tries to ignore it.

"You did really well," Ryo says quietly.

Akira feels his face heat up worse than before. 

"I mean in terms of not turning into a demon."

"Fuck. I knew that."

"The sex was decent as well."

Akira grins, still blushing heavily. "Do you think so?"

"I don't have an incredibly large amount of sex to compare it to but I'll count not being killed as a huge success." He can feel Ryo absentmindedly playing with his hair. Ryo isn't big on nervous gestures so Akira decides not to move incase he draws too much attention to it.

Ryo's leans his head against his. "Akira?"

"Yeah?"

There's a long pause. "Would you say it again?"

Akira still feels like his face has caught fire but it's hard to feel too embarrassed with Ryo matching his color. "Sure. I, um. I love you."

Ryo slaps his hands over his face and groans. "Thanks," he says, even more awkwardly than the first time. Akira brushes the tears off his cheeks and laughs.


End file.
